A PSA from Petty Roosevelt

Jul. 25, 2017 / By

I swear I’ve grown into one of those bitter, jaded, old people. The type of old fart that starts conversations with “If only you knew…” or picks fights with strangers for sport and even prefers to be right as opposed to at peace.  I’m basically the Petty Roosevelt of my time. And while I actually still have my youth, my patience for nonsense is on par with an elder statesman who’s seen it all and simply can’t deal…I think.

So I’ve put my pettiness to good use and compiled five completely random and petty observations that my acrimonious soul just can’t stand. Enjoy!

“Today’s slang”

“Kids today with their slang are evidence of the dumbing down of society.” That’s the typical reaction to words like “BAE” or “Lit”. We know that every generation has its own catch phrases and manner of speaking and yet, when slang enters the lexicon we act surprised by it’s existence. The reality is, dude, language is a form of expression and expression is creativity; so to all the haters out there – create some space and have several seats.


Speaking of words – I’m so beyond the overuse of the word beyond.  What’s up with people using it to describe their emotions? Why not instead focus on stronger word choices rather than relying on more words to emphasize your point. For instance, when I hear people say “I was beyond angry” or I was “beyond thrilled”  I’m left waiting for details that accurately describe how they feel. If you’re beyond angry then what are you?….I’ll wait.

Hating on protesters

It should go without saying that here in America we have the right to assemble in peaceful protest but somehow people seem to forget. What I hate is how people can claim to support a cause but ignore the actions necessary for advancing that cause. Comments such as “Destruction of Property Makes a Protest Illegitimate,” express tenuous support for a protest but draw the line at any amount of damaged property and general inconvenience.

Worse are the people who also claim that protesting is a futile exercise that accomplishes nothing.

Nah bruh, I see you. It’s clear that this is all an excuse to sabotage civil unrest in an effort to maintain the status quo. So I’m gonna be petty and go ahead and say that I don’t care if you’re too weak to confront frightening realities or actually a heartless brat wanting to ruin the American dream for everyone; “Silence equals death,” as AIDS awareness activist Larry Kramer put it succinctly.

And for the record, protests are a crucial means to illuminating oppression and galvanizing public awareness. Large demonstrations strengthen communities and remind us that we’re not alone in our fight, which is important when it comes to reaching out to state senators, assembly members, and Congress. Protests are the necessary window into organizing lasting change.


I wish Karma was much more immediate and obvious to those in need of a punch in the face.

We seek comfort in the idea that lousy personalities will get what they have coming to them eventually. Trouble is, even if they end up having miserable lives as a direct result to being miserable people they wouldn’t even know it. They’re likely to go on to believe that they’re victims in an unfair world.

I don’t mean to be petty but if all the bullies, losers, and creeps had an ounce of self-awareness maybe – just maybe they wouldn’t behave so poorly. If they knew better they would do better. Take Taylor Swift for example, if she took a moment to stop throwing her peers under the bus or penning relentless breakup songs, she’d realize that she’s not the victim, she’s the perpetrator.

Talkin Bout My Generation

Narcissism, an over reliance on tech, lack of a strong work ethic, and an inflated sense of entitlement; these are all things that millennials get blamed for extensively but if you think about it, these have less to do with the identity of a generation and more to do with the fact that millennials are young.

Patrick Wright, business professor at the Darla Moore School of Business at the University of South Carolina, offered his insight to CNBC. “From my standpoint, it’s not a generational thing,” he said. “It’s actually a stage of life issue.”

“We tend to overestimate what we were like at that age and therefore think that this is a different generation,” he added. “If you’re honest with yourself and you look at the way you were at that age, you have to say, ’These kids are not that different.’”

The classification of generations is not a hard science as much as it is a cultural hobby of judging groups of people. More to the point-If you dig up scholarly articles on generationalism it becomes abundantly clear, every younger generation is denigrated by the one before it.

In fact I’m going to get petty and list a few historical articles that prove each emerging generation faces rancor from older generations. Click the images below to be linked to the article.

Ultimately we should just accept that we are all equal, unless you don’t know Fraggle Rock, The Gargoyles, or who The Cranberries are; then you’re garbage.

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Thomas Lick (Vanguard)

Thomas Lick also goes by the artist name Vanguard and is an aspiring filmmaker and performer with hopes of someday becoming the next Orson Welles. He spends his journalistic efforts focusing on the underdog and highlighting social issues. He is also a huge fan of urban design and all things Disney.